By Situation Theatre 23/11/2015
Tony Abbott and Kevin Andrews are tonight being kitted out for their imminent invasion of Syria. Tired of Turnbull and his gaggle of mummy’s boys not unilaterally using ground troops in Syria, they’re headed to the frontlines to shirtfront a few militants.
Abbott said “You’ve got these pansies like Tanya Plibersek mewling about debating defence strategy and those chinless wonders in the Greens banging on about breaking international law and repeating the mistakes of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Seriously, what a bunch of babies, wah, wah, wah, let’s go crack some heads.”
The plan is to fly straight into Raqqa and eat a few raw onions in front of groups of ISIS fighters. With a bit of luck the jihadists will think “these guys are clearly mental, let’s not mess with them” and surrender immediately.