Proving for the 107th time that he will do anything in the name of power except sell his arse, Tony Abbott has formally asked Japan to bomb the stuffing out of Darwin in a bid to increase his waning popularity. The move comes as the logical next step after pushing the US to request Australian involvement in Syrian air strikes.
Mr Abbott said 'The Syrian strikes are good, but we need a national security issue with a more domestic flavour if we want even a snowball’s chance in hell at the next election. Operation Fortitude was in the ball park but we just need something a little more explosive'.
The Japan revelation comes after a press conference in which Abbott discovered that Operation WW1 Reduxe was not an option because the Archduke Franz Ferdinand had already been assassinated.