By Situation Theatre 17/2/14
A boon for simian fans today as The Australian has published its first comment piece written entirely by an exhausted macaque monkey called Bruce, on loan from Taronga Zoo.
The news comes as a blow to philosophers, who had predicted the industrious primate would require infinite time before publication, although critics say it’s not exactly Shakespeare.
Bruce has been working as a contributor since 2010, perhaps explaining the increasingly garbled content of Australia’s ninth best form of rain protection. Today’s work, titled “Ideology”, is the product of Bruce's round-the-clock work ethic of recent weeks.
While journalists at the “newspaper” fear replacement by other zoological contractors, editorial chief Mr Squiggle is thrilled with Bruce's efforts, saying “I’m so pleased that he can ape our shamelessly narrow-minded worldview so precisely”.