By Situation Theatre 13/10/2015
Always wished George Brandis was your big brother? All your dystopic dreams come true today as the government’s much touted ‘Telescreen App’ automatically downloads to your phone.
Because technology is great, the app has many excellent functions.
Firstly, it hacks into your Tinder profile so that all your suggested matches are just pictures of George Brandis in different stripey jumpers. You can only swipe right.
Secondly, the daily “Two Minutes Hate” will exercise your right to be a bigot, piping in random two minute segments from the Bolt Report and demanding you repeat them verbatim to those in your immediate vicinity.
In addition, every half hour women will receive a snap chat from Brandis stating simply “you’re becoming hysterical”.
Now that Big Brother is watching more closely than ever before, at least he’ll more clearly see your middle finger.