By Situation Theatre 19/07/2016
Eddie McGuire’s “painkiller defence” is going viral.
Political and cultural leaders the world over are currently thanking their lucky stars for the excuse making genius of Eddie McGuire. Inspired by the way the larrikin footy commentator blamed deep-seated racism on a knee-injury, George W. Bush has declared that the decision to invade Iraq was made on an upset tum tum.
Mr Bush said “On the 19th March 2003, Laura made me my favourite dinner, roast chicken. It didn’t agree with me and next thing you know I’m invading Iraq based on a lie, killing hundreds of thousands of civilians, destabilising the entire Middle-East and creating the precipitating factors for the rise of ISIS and the global refugee crisis we see before us today. You know what they say, never undertake an imperialist war of aggression on an upset stomach.”
In the hours since Mr Bush’s statements, David Cameron has blamed a residual groin infection from “Pig-gate” for his disastrous Brexit calculations.