By Situation Theatre 27/3/2019
Political parties often try to maximise their votes by designing popular policies. Not the Liberals. They’ve decided their best hope for the May election is a pretty niche market.
This election the federal Liberal Party is taking the rather unorthodox approach of maximising votes from gun-loving-coal-fondling-child-sexual-abusers.
In the wake of the Christchurch terror attacks and Al Jazeera revelations about One Nation’s advocacy for re-commencing home soil massacres, Scott Morrison has refused to commit to preferencing the white nationalist party last or even describe them as racist. He has instead said that the Coalition has worked with One Nation “on a lot of important issues”.
In light of the UN report that we have less than 12 years to undertake a massive shift from fossil fuels to renewable energy, the PM has said the government is “not going to spend money on global climate conferences and all that nonsense” and is exploring using taxpayer money for new coal-fired power stations and upgrading and extending the life of existing ones.
In view of the findings of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, the godfather of the Liberal Party and its current chief strategist, John Howard, along with former Prime Minister Tony Abbott, have both written character references for convicted paedophile George Pell.
Scott Morrison believes the Liberal Party’s association with renewed mass shootings, the collapse of civilisation, and industrial-scale child sexual abuse, will give them a much needed boost at the next election.