By Situation Theatre 18/5/2019
But then they realised that would remind everyone of the Iraq War and Children Overboard, so they let him live.
There are explosive revelations this morning that Liberal strategists contemplated assassinating former Prime Minister John Howard to counteract the likely Labor marginal seat poll bump following Bob Hawke’s death.
Party insiders watched in horror on Thursday night as they saw how Hawke’s death reminded everyone that anything good they had was probably thanks to the ALP and labour movement, and anything shitty in their lives was probably due to the actions of the Liberal Party.
They thought that by murdering the godfather of the modern Liberal Party, they could remind the electorate of his legacy and boost the conservative vote.
When they remembered Howard was a notorious liar who dragged Australia into a bloody and unpopular war, they abandoned their plans and instead got an even less popular Prime Minister to claim Hawkie was a Liberal.