By Situation Theatre 17/2/2016
No longer a public asset, Opposition Leader Bill Shorten has been privatised by Prime Minister Malcom Turnbull.
After watching Mr Shorten endorse Liberal policies for some time, Mr Turnbull thought buying 100% of the shares in the Leader of the Opposition would make the whole process more efficient.
Now that Mr Turnbull owns Mr Shorten, expect nothing to change about the performance of the so called Opposition Leader.
The Prime Minister has instructed Mr Shorten to “keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Continue supporting all our worst crimes in immigration policy. Also continue the absence of opposition, leadership and political imagination. Because in a choice between me and a less charismatic version of me, I’m going to win every time."
He continued: "Whatever you do, don't offer any sense of visionary change. We all know if that happens, I'm stuffed”.