By Situation Theatre 04/04/16
The real Saint Peter is so 2000 years ago. All hail the new Saint Peter, disciple of the Lord Tony Abbott. He just performed his second miracle: freeing all prisoners on Nauru and Manus by renaming their prisons “Freedom Camps”.
Granted, the real Saint Peter did some cool stuff. He healed the sick, got #JesusChrist trending on all the social media of the time, made a dog talk and even resurrected a fish (pretty sure it’s one of the deleted scenes in Finding Nemo).
But did he ever perform a miracle where he renamed parts of detention centres “community detention” so he could claim all kids were free and get some sweet sweet humanitarian cred with the press?
Not even one time. Shame on you, biblical Saint Peter. Bravo, Saint Peter Dutton.
Sadly for the children on Nauru, the wrong “Saint Peter” was crucified for his ancient beliefs.