By Situation Theatre 7/9/2018
His Sermon on the Murray also promised a magic harp and a goose that lays golden eggs.
As a disciple of Tony Abbott, 2015’s hottest climate criminal, the new Prime Minister Scott Morrison is seeking forgiveness for sabotaging meaningful climate action which would mitigate drought in the long term. As such, he has promised a series of mythical gifts for Australian farmers.
These promises came off the back of some other meaningless actual words from the PM.
“I pray for that rain everywhere else around the country. And I do pray for that rain. And I’d encourage others who believe in the power of prayer to pray for that rain and to pray for our farmers. Please do that,” he said.
“And everyone else who doesn’t like to do that, you just say, ‘Good on you, guys. You go well.’ Think good thoughts for them, or whatever you do.”
Australia's new climate policy everybody.
The PM also had a message for the youth.
“We respect our young Australians by listening to them about their hopes for the future and their concerns for the future,” he said.
“Whether it’s environment issues in particular, my ears are very alert. The War On Waste — yes, I have seen it, (on the) ABC.
“I get it. That’s what’s focusing and concerning them, so that means it matters to me too.”
In response to the PM’s package of prayers, golden eggs, and vague name recognition of an ABC TV show, the reception from rural Australians has been much frostier than the nation’s rising average temperatures.
Bruce Wolgett, from Broken Hill, said “Yeah I reckon magic beans sound pretty good but you know what sounds better? Not being a BHP shill.”
As the PM prays his combination of wishful thinking and fabled offerings will save farmers, the nation prays Morrison’s government meets the same fate as the giant.