By Situation Theatre 4/02/2019
Morrison to fight the next election as an independent in the latest and most welcome of a string of resignations from what some people still call a government.
Having just recovered from the shock of discovering the nation’s passionate love affair with Michael Keenan, Kelly O’Dwyer, and Nigel “Look Out Mud Crabs” Scullion will soon be over, millions of Australians have been dealt another cruel blow with the loss of the guy who couldn’t cut it at Tourism Australia.
Having shown more leadership skills than a distracted teenager at the front of an ATM queue and more online savvy than most humans of the Paleolithic, Australia’s most forgettable used car salesman will be sorely missed.
The former Prime Minister said that he believed the Liberal Party had a touch too much Nazism for his tastes and believes he’d have a better chance of winning his seat if he wasn’t Scott Morrison.
Yet the full implications of Mr Morrison’s decision were unclear to the man himself until he faced the Canberra Press Gallery this afternoon.
“You do know this means you’re no longer Prime Minister?”
“Sorry, what? Ah damn, this is worse than that time I went on a bus tour via plane. On second thoughts I’ll stay put.”
“Fraid not Scotty, no takesies backsies. We’ll take that empty chair as PM instead thanks.”
It’s unclear how the Liberals will cope without the man who thought the best way to instil confidence in his leadership was to wear more hats.