By Situation Theatre 12/07/2016
Take it, take it all.
Having already sold most of his soul to the Nationals last September, there are serious questions about what else Mr Turnbull can leverage in upcoming negotiations.
Speculation is rife that given the Nationals have increased their share of the seats in the Coalition this election, they’ll ask for more than just retaining Abbott-era climate change and marriage equality policies.
Here are the most likely demands from the Nationals:
1. Force Turnbull to deny the existence of climate change.
2. Require the PM to deny the existence of weather.
3. Demand Turnbull expel all gay germs from Parliament.
4. Force the PM to yell CAAAARRRPPPP at random intervals during Question Time.
5. Allow Barnaby Joyce and his family to move into the Prime Minister’s Point Piper mansion.
6. Demand the PM kidnap and torture Johnny Depp’s dogs.
7. Make Turnbull chair a Royal Commission into the link between cows and asylum seekers.
No matter how extreme the demands from the Nationals, the PM can reassure himself that none will be as humiliating as having to lead the Liberal Party.