By Situation Theatre 6/8/2018
Love him or loathe him, the Prime Minister certainly can impersonate a human being.
Forget the miraculous rescue of the boys in the Thai cave. Forget the courageous firefighters on 9/11. Forget Apollo 13 or that Uruguayan rugby team who ate each other in the Andes. The Liberal government is pulling off a rescue far greater than all of those combined.
As Australian farmers struggle through some of the driest conditions since 1902, the Federal Government is offering every struggling farmer 10kg of coal to keep on their mantelpiece. Like most policies of this government, it will of course do nothing to help ordinary people in dire straits, but it will garner some much needed publicity for a dying fuel source.
And sure, Malcolm Turnbull has sabotaged climate action at every turn as Prime Minister. And of course there are clear links be made between fossil fuel use, climate change and intensified drought. And yes, the lobbyists, mainstream media, and government do everything possible to separate these twin issues and undermine climate action, further compounding the suffering of farmers across Australia into the future. But did you see those two hugs Turnbull gave the rural charity worker? I reckon we should call it even.
The PM was even generous enough to give a press conference after thoroughly scrubbing himself of all traces of the commoner.
He said “We’re listening and what we’re hearing is you want more coal-fired power stations, yeah?
He went on to say “We’re here because we care, we’ve come back, and we’re taking action”.
“Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Good one."