It has a striking resemblance both to the old-look ministry and Canberra’s biggest garbage dump.
Protesters from Jakarta to Jaipur and Milan to Minsk are burning cars, smashing windows and going on hunger strikes to show their outrage at the dumping of their beloved Australian Environment Minister.
The New Zealand Prime Minister remains bed-bound and nauseous,. She also faces a critical bucket shortage.
Fresh from a killing spree based on the seven deadly sins, Peter Dutton has retained the Home Affairs portfolio.
After hiding the entire ministry in his basement for the duration of the campaign, the Prime Minister has decided all he needs to run the country is his own fair dinkum attitude, a few baseball caps, and the unconditional backing of a few billionaires.
Federal MP Joel Fitzgibbon and Queensland Premier Anastasia Palaszczuk both said the Indian billionaire industrialist and chairman of the Ahmedabad-based multinational was a “true Australian hero”.
Democracy was the real winner.
Meanwhile the only half-decent candidate, Tanya Plibersek, has withdrawn from the contest because the patriarchy is patently fucked.
Nation’s media offers shocking endorsement of the status quo.
I’m, like, the smartest non-Asian in year 11.
Looks like progressive Australians will have to stay here and fight this shoey of a government.
Morrison credits quiet Australian Rupert Murdoch for miracle of concentrated wealth, power, and influence.
But then they realised that would remind everyone of the Iraq War and Children Overboard, so they let him live.
Tomorrow we might wake up to a Prime Minister who actually respects women.
Morrison has held a last-minute pre-election cap burning ceremony after seeing the public’s outpouring of love for Bob Hawke.
If elected, Shorten will make Keating Australia’ s ambassador to the UN because of how well he articulates the national interest.
Gay people, whose only crime is loving each other, are safe. Scott Morrison on the other hand, whose crimes range from torturing refugees to torching the planet, is spending his after-life in the raging fires of eternal damnation.
Still no need to reform political advertising.
It’s the first known instance of Liberal Party compassion.
Other refugees, abused women and Australian wildlife panicking as PM vows to save them too.
After approving Adani, the Environment Minister went for a bushwalk to get some fresh air and ended up stuck for five weeks at the bottom of a coal mine.
Fans of the Australian President are in for a shock on Saturday when they realise he’s not on the ballot.
Meanwhile, a woman cornered by the PM looks desperately towards the exit signs.
One of the above images was originally satirical and one is a real photo from the launch. Which is which is anybody’s guess.
Labor’s policy vision came out on top.
Once you’ve sold out the country, it’s much easier to sell out your Mum.
Thanks to some probing investigative journalism, The Australian has discovered that unlike the right-wing media, dangerous Greens are prioritising life on Earth over more luxury yachts for fossil fuel executives.
Morrison is confident that by combining the appropriated Marxist slogan with a narrow range of hats, neoliberalism will rise from its death bed.