By Situation Theatre 17/08/2015

Like a 21st century scientist who has just discovered the theory of gravity, Tony Abbott has realised the Liberal Party should become a bit less blokey. His response? A Royal Commission into The Second Sex of course. And who better to investigate all aspects of women than the Minister for Women?

Abbott has outlined the terms of reference for the new Royal Commission.

They are as follows.

1. Explore the similarities between holidays and giving birth.

2. Work out times when women are allowed to withhold sex.

3. Clarify nomenclature with reference to.....women.

4. Find out where the ladies at.

5. Show how axing the carbon tax was the best thing for women since getting the vote.

6. Discover whether patting a woman's bum at work is more or less acceptable than winking.

7. Find out the meaning of the phrase ‘glass ceiling’.

8. Educate the housewives of Australia as they do the ironing.

9. Discover the root causes of sex appeal.

10. Determine precise privileges for high calibre women and punishments for low calibre women.

11. Uncover the reasons for the popularity of women in the workplace.

12. The terms of reference will exclude any mention of Julia Gillard.