Scientists shocked to discover world is actually oval. Earth Full South Pacific by Bruce Irving/cc
By Situation Theatre 4/2/14
The first season of World Big Brother represents a shift in reality television from the banalities of a sexist and soulless celebrity culture to a profound engagement with social, ecological and spiritual planetary crisis. Many credit the change to Snooki’s concerns that Hurricane Sandy would disrupt production of Snooki and JWoww.
The peak moments of cultural expression in previous seasons of Big Brother came during Tallywhacker Tuesdays, Weiner Wednesdays or Long Dong Silver Saturdays. Occasionally the producers erred and chose contestants who actually cared about politics, such as Australia’s Merlin, who famously protested inhumane treatment of refugees. Such people were ridiculed for demonstrating compassion rather than obediently getting their wangs out.
Sometimes hosting Big Brother is really hard.
Yet off the back of Survivor: Tuvalu and America’s Next Top Pacifist, World Big Brother producers have selected leading voices on contemporary social and environmental justice problems. After impassioned speeches in the diary room from Amy Goodman and Naomi Klein, all fortune 500 company executives humbly apologised for plundering the Earth and dissolved their companies to divide their time between homeless shelters and meditation.
In the past, Big Brother would introduce “controversial” plot twists to boost ratings. The most famous of these was “The All Blacks”, in which all housemates were Indigenous until the last episode when white invaders arrived at the house by boat. They massacred some housemates, killed most of the rest with syphilis and influenza, moved four onto a couple of square metres of land in the backyard, then complained that the remaining blacks were lazy welfare parasites. The whites later apologised so everything was fine.
This time however housemates were set the singular task of global social transformation. After feeding the general populace a balanced diet of critical theory from Marx to Foucault, ecofeminism, Buddhism, as well as deep and social ecologies, the show induced an inspiring shift to a sustainable, just and spiritually fulfilling human presence on Mother Earth.
Dick trick enthusiasts are said to be inconsolable.