By Situation Theatre 13/11/2019
Finally, a logical explanation for why he’s fuelling the climate apocalypse.
Since hijacking the Prime Ministership, Scott Morrison has taken 100 actions to bring on the end times.
Until now, reasons for this were murky. Sociopathy? Enjoying staying this side of obese by doing laps in pools of fossil fuel money?A desire to see his own children suffer? Who could tell?
Well, thanks to finances from a vast stamp collecting empire, a crack team of rigorous investigative journalists, and a 2-minute Wikipedia search, Situation Theatre has an exclusive on the real reason he’s forced the entire Australian population into his clown car and is hurtling us all off the climate cliff:
“Pentecostalism emerged in the early 20th century among radical adherents of the Holiness movement who were energized by revivalism and expectation for the imminent Second Coming of Christ. Believing that they were living in the end times, they expected God to spiritually renew the Christian Church thereby bringing to pass the restoration of spiritual gifts and the evangelization of the world.”
“The last element of the gospel is that Jesus is the "Soon Coming King". For Pentecostals, "every moment is eschatological" since at any time Christ may return. This "personal and imminent" Second Coming is for Pentecostals the motivation for practical Christian living including: personal holiness, meeting together for worship, faithful Christian service, and evangelism (both personal and worldwide). Many, if not the majority, of Pentecostals are premillennial dispensationalists believing in a pretribulation rapture.”
The sooner he can bring on the apocalypse, the sooner he thinks he will rise “in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air,” that is of course barring any serious smoke inhalation along the way.
Jesus H. Christ. No wonder Morrison’s response to this national emergency is to douse the bushfires with thoughts and prayers.