By Situation Theatre 8/9/2018
Think of the Liberal and National Parties as the Sodom and Gomorrah of 21st century Australia.
Despite the political uncertainty of the last few weeks, one thing is for sure.
There’s nothing like the smell of a torched Liberal Party in the morning.
In light of that objective fact, Australians are excited to wake up to the news this morning that God will indeed smite the Liberal-National government at the next election.
The Saviour has been pretty darn miffed with the recent behaviour of the Liberal Party, especially when combined with all of their past behaviour.
As a result, he’s planning to rain down some pretty hectic divine retribution.
The Lord revealed to Richard Di Natale that “because their sin is very grievous”, he would lay waste to the Liberal-National government and much of the rest of Parliament too.
Di Natale asked God if he would spare Greens members, for their sins were far less, and God agreed.
Di Natale then asked if God would also have mercy on Labor Left members, and he said "Yeah I'm gonna have to think about it."
And then God said he planned to turn Tony Abbott into a pillar of salt which would forever more overlook the ruins of Parliament House as a sobering reminder of the cost of constantly looking backwards.
And then God said "Let The Greens join with members of social and environmental justice organisations across Australia and start a new Parliament because the current one, lo, is a waste of fucking space".