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Situation Theatre

May 15, 2019

Voters Forced To Run Through Giant AFL-Style Clive Palmer Banners At All Polling Stations

by Sarah Johnson


Palmer Banner 1.jpg
Palmer Banner 1.jpg

By Situation Theatre 15/5/2019

Still no need to reform political advertising.

As if Australians weren’t already furious that the colour yellow has been ruined forever, they will now be compelled to enter polling booths via a picture of Clive Palmer’s enormous face.

While some are quite looking forward to tearing through the gossamer fabric of the United Australia Party, many voters have genuine concerns their heads will explode if they see another fucking UAP commercial.

Volunteers for the narcoleptic, xenophobic mining billionaire will also be handing out IOUs to voters for $70 million, which of course like everything else associated with Clive Palmer, will be infuriatingly meaningless.

In an embarrassing oversight for the Palmer campaign, none of the $60 million worth of ads on billboards, television, online, in the newspapers or on the fridge magnets he’s hidden in your purse even mention the driving passion behind it all – getting approval for his new mega-mines in the Galilee Basin.

As you run through a novelty size image of Palmer’s face to get to the polling booth on Saturday, remember to savour this special moment for Australian democracy.

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