By Situation Theatre 15/4/2019
Rich people get rich because they work hard.
A new study by the Centre for Bogus Statistics has found conclusive evidence that one of the central myths perpetuating neoliberalism, that rich people are rich because they work harder than other people, is absolutely true.
The report found that apart from those rich folks who had the incredible good luck to be born into families who could easily afford to feed, house, and clothe them, as well as provide unlimited medical care, 15 years of education, and a lifetime supply of inherited wealth, and apart from those born into a class with the innate ability to rig the global economic system in favour of themselves and demonise everyone else, and apart from those wealthy individuals born into countries with histories of wiping out local Indigenous populations to minimise competition, stealing wealth from their colonial subjects and passing it off as being “enterprising”, exploiting migrant labour when it’s convenient and keeping them in offshore prison camps when it’s not, the study showed that rich people amassed their fortune thanks to their plucky spirit.