By Situation Theatre 30/8/2018
Still not the weirdest thing he's eaten.
As if a decade of climate criminality wasn’t enough, the former Prime Minister and long-time explosives enthusiast Tony Abbott has been found feasting on rat brains in the debris of the recent Liberals’ church implosion.
It was the Member for Warringah’s tactical placement and detonation of dynamite inside the dilapidated old building which was responsible for last week’s destruction. In response, the new PM has reprimanded Mr Abbott by offering him the job of Indigenous affairs envoy, which is actually a much more severe punishment for Aboriginal Australians.
Since last week’s collapse the Liberals' answer to Malcolm X has been found skulking, lurking, loitering, creeping, and prowling around the wreckage, surviving only by wolfing down the flesh and blood of his rodent brethren.