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Situation Theatre

March 3, 2014

US Shocked One Country Would Invade Another

by Sarah Johnson


Putin did what!!?? Baby Colt 1 by Christopher Lance/cc

Putin did what!!?? Baby Colt 1 by Christopher Lance/cc

Putin did what!!?? Baby Colt 1 by Christopher Lance/cc

Putin did what!!?? Baby Colt 1 by Christopher Lance/cc

By Situation Theatre 3/1/14

The "Switzerland of the Americas", the United States, has denounced Russia for behaving in “19th century fashion by invading another country on completely trumped-up pretext”.  Secretary of State John Kerry has demanded the Kremlin follow the US example in Iraq and trump up pretexts in a 21st century fashion.

Following its own long history of isolationism and neutrality, the US is struggling to fathom the concept of invasion.  Asked on NBC ‘s Meet the Press what label should be applied to recent US involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan, Kerry replied “they were pop-ins.  What can I say, we love the pop-in. We’re huge pop-in guys”.

Foreign Ministers of Mexico, Nicaragua,  Argentina, Chile, Haiti, Panama, The Philippines, Cuba, Samoa, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Guatemala, El Salvador, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Micronesia, Papua New Guinea, Vanuatu, Iran, Uruguay, Vietnam, Lebanon, Iraq, Laos, Indonesia, Cambodia, Oman, Angola, Grenada, Bolivia, Liberia, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Somalia, Congo, Albania, Sudan, Afghanistan, Yemen, Macedonia, Columbia, Syria, Uganda, Mali and Niger were unavailable for comment on their experiences of “the pop-in”.

They have all been rendered to Pakistan and then killed in drone strikes.

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