By Situation Theatre 21/11/2019
If you enjoy Situation Theatre’s work and would like to see it become a stronger counterweight to the daily assault of centrist and right-wing propaganda from much of our media, we’d love you to join the fight by becoming a Patron.
Most billionaires earn an income directly proportional to how hard they work exploiting labour, milking government subsidies, stealing the fruits of taxpayer-funded R & D, hiding their money in offshore bank accounts, and dabbling in paedophile rings.
We’ve come to the conclusion that such hard work, or any work for that matter, is a mug’s game.
For years we’ve written unfunded satire targeting corrupt politicians, the corporate media, and ecocidal billionaires.
Yet somehow, they still exist.
This kind of pointless passion project has to stop.
That’s why we’re asking our loyal readers to throw in a small amount per month to make us filthy rich.
For the cost of one or two large, non-fat lattes with caramel drizzle per week, you have the chance to fund the luxurious whims of a billionaire more directly than through your taxes!
We’re starting small with a vision to help you, help us, build a $900 million 500-foot-long mega-yacht called the Mini-Monaco.
It’ll have mini-versions of all of Monaco’s most famous landmarks including the Monte Carlo Hotel, the Café de Paris, and even a Grand Prix race track. It’ll feature all the more prosaic stuff like tennis courts, swimming pools, and spiral staircases of course, but also a 9th café with underwater views and a mini-waterfall.
Once we meet this fairly austere $900 million goal, we’ll set our sights on $3.5 billion, so we can upgrade to the History Supreme yacht, featuring 100,000 kg worth of gold, platinum, and jewels.
Here at Situation Theatre, we’re sick and tired of boarding mega-yachts devoid of gold-wrapped anchors, diamond studded iPhones, statues made of dinosaur bones, or gold-plated aquariums.
With your kind support, we won’t have to.
In the unlikely event we don’t hit $3.5 billion, or, God forbid, the more modest $900 million, instead we’ll cover costs associated with maintaining the website, the newsletter, and paying a writer.
But yeah, your money is probs gonna be used for diamonds.
Preferably blood diamonds.
Click here to become a Situation Theatre Patron today! There’s plenty of membership options for any budget, including Platinum, Helium, Magnesium, Sodium, and even Imodium!