By Situation Theatre 27/12/2019

“I really thought I would be Australia’s most hated Prime Minister for as long as I lived. To be now liked more than at least one other man really is the most precious gift.”

Former Prime Minister and man who spends his weekends creepily winking at onions, Tony Abbott, is said to be thrilled with his Christmas gift of being compared favourably with one and only one other man in the country

Since being deposed, Mr Abbott has been feeling despondent that his “axe the tax” and “stop the boats” campaigns, his 2014 budget, and his 478 despised destructive actions inside only two years as PM, alongside his shit happens, onion, wink, sex appeal, lifestyle choices, Holocaust of job losses and Prince Philip moments, would cement his place as Australia’s most embarrassing, shameful, regressive, reactionary, and generally terrible PM in history.

That was of course until Scott Morrison asked Mr Abbott to hold his beer while he popped over to Hawaii for a quick getaway, both from the climate crimes he was committing on the home front and the firefighters to which he couldn’t relate because they actually do work of value.

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