By Situation Theatre 13/10/2018

He is now in East Sydney Private Hospital suffering one of the worst recorded cases of cognitive dissonance.

There are serious concerns for the mental health of Alex Turnbull this morning after finding out that the man who said “if anyone had a vested interest in showing you that you could do really smart, clean things with coal, it’s us” is his father.

Alex opened an email from a concerned citizen at 6:30am this morning to find this list of heinous environmental actions carried out by the former Prime Minister.

Approves Carmichael Coal Mine – 16 October 2015

Environment Minister Greg Hunt claims selling India Australian coal will cut carbon emissions – 10 Dec 2015

Approves Abbot Point Coal Terminal expansion – 22 December 2015

Presides over a drop in Australia’s ranking on the Environmental Performance Index of 10 places – 28 January 2016

Approves logging in Murray Valley National Park – 28 February 2016

Tries to loan Adani $1 billion to build a railway link to the Carmichael mine and promises to “fix” native title problems – 11 April 2017.

Describes Labor’s emissions trading scheme as “jobs destroying”, a handbrake on the economy, leading to “much higher energy prices.” – 27 April 2016.

Says coal will be important for “many, many decades to come” – 25 October 2016.

Seeks changes to the national environmental act to stop conservation groups challenging environmental ministerial decisions – October 31, 2016

Says “if anyone had a vested interest in showing you that you could do really smart, clean things with coal, it would be us” – 1 February, 2017.

Opens $5 billion infrastructure fund for “clean-coal” power stations – 3 February 2017.

Hires Sid Marris, former head of climate and environment at the Minerals Council of Australia, to be his climate and energy adviser – 3 February 2017.

Ignores advice that renewable energy was not to blame for South Australian blackouts – 13 February 2017.

Oversees 3.4% rise in emissions within 12 months and 7.5% increase since the Abbott-Turnbull government scrapped the carbon price – 01 March 2017.

Diverts funds from Clean Energy Finance Corporation to fund coal with carbon capture and storage – 31 May 2017.

Stops releasing pollution data that used to be announced on a quarterly basis – 7 July 2017

Attacks South Australian renewable energy policy as “ideology and idiocy in equal measure” – 14 August 2017.

Dumps Clean Energy Target – 17 October 2017

Plans to reduce environmental spending to less than 60% of 2013-2014 budget – 13 December 2017

Declares its climate policies are a big success – 19 December 2017.

Turnbull’s signature emissions reduction policy, the National Energy Guarantee, described as having ‘no benefit’ to emissions – 18 July 2018.

Personally approves $443m fund for Great Barrier Reef Foundation, an organisation with ties to BHP, Shell and Peabody Energy – 31 July 2018.

Removes emissions reduction target from National Energy Guarantee – 20 August 2018

Having read the list, Alex Turnbull connected the name “Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull” with his father, also called Malcolm Turnbull, and the terrible truth dawned upon him.

Now in hospital, doctors say he may undergo a period of dissociation but this is to be expected in such cases of trauma.