Images from Twitter and The Conversation
By Situation Theatre 8/3/2020
What was long suspected is now indisputable.
The link between significant brain trauma and conservative governments has been a fertile research area in Australia ever since John Howard’s Prime Ministership led to a massive spike in the purchase of flag capes.
Now that after seven years of Abbott, Turnbull and Morrison, Aussies are tearing each other limb from limb so they can spend the rest of their natural lives on the crapper, the world’s scientists have officially reached consensus.
The likely head injuries suffered under conservative rule include hematoma, a kind of clotting which can lead to lost consciousness, haemorrhage, uncontrolled bleeding on the brain, concussion, a result of listening to Scott Morrison for more than 30 seconds, edema, a type of swelling most closely associated with Peter Dutton, skull fracture, which accounts for Barnaby Joyce’s Christmas video, and diffuse axonal injury, a loss of function in the brain cells which explains why Tony Abbott ate an onion.
From now on, conservative governments will be forced to add a caution to their political advertising: “Warning: a vote for us will definitely cause serious brain injury”.