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Situation Theatre

May 28, 2020

Global Disappointment As News Breaks Billionaire Will Not Be Fired Into Space

by Sarah Johnson


Images from ABC News and iGadgetPro

Images from ABC News and iGadgetPro

Images from ABC News and iGadgetPro

Images from ABC News and iGadgetPro

By Situation Theatre 28/05/2020

Gutted.

99% of the world’s population is today reeling from the news that what they had assumed was the beginning of a programme to shoot billionaires into space where no-one can hear them scream, is actually just the egomaniacal self-pleasuring of a narcissistic twat.

Elon Musk, the self-made libertarian who has relied on $4.9 billion of government subsidies, the rescue expert who smeared British diver Vernon Unsworth who helped save youth soccer team in the Thai cave a “pedo” and “child rapist”, the defendant in a series of lawsuits alleging Tesla is a hotbed of racism and discrimination, and the ethical businessman whose company has been subject to 24 health and safety investigations resulting in nearly $250,000 in fines and 54 violations, will sadly be residing on Earth for the foreseeable future.

The epidemiologist who dismissed coronavirus as just like the flu, the public health expert who mocked public concern for the lives of vulnerable people as “dumb panic”, the noble doctor who promised 1000 expensive ventilators for California turned out to be cheap machines used for sleep apnoea, the mini-Trump who tweeted “FREE AMERICA” in the face of the world’s highest COVID-19 death toll and reopened his factory against local regulation, will instead keep doing what he and his billionaire ilk do best: siphoning public wealth for private gain and branding it “entrepreneurial genius”.

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