By Situation Theatre 24/9/2019

It’s been real, António Guterres, but we’ve got a world to save.

Electrified by the raw power of her speech to the Climate Action Summit into actually doing something to address climate breakdown, the General Assembly has taken the common sense measure to appoint the 16-year old climate activist as only the 10th head of the UN in history.

Immediately following the speech and after wiping away tears from their eyes, the Assembly voted unanimously for the heroic teen.

Although a few early hominids on Sky News have criticised the move because Greta hypocritically wears clothing, 7.7 billion more evolved humans have fully embraced the appointment.

Now that finally an adult is in charge after decades of juvenile government-sanctioned arson, scientists predict a global transition to 100% renewable energy by the end of next year.