By Situation Theatre 4/10/2019

In fairness to the 18-year old, he probably knows more about ice cream than Hunter Biden knows about energy.

There are explosive revelations out of Canberra today which could bring down the Morrison Prime Ministership.

A whisteblower has told the ABC of a phone call between the Australian leader and his Kiwi counterpart in which Mr Morrison said he would only approve military aid to New Zealand, including four bow and arrows and three slingshots, if Ms Ardern investigated the role of Anthony Albanese’s son on the board of ice cream manufacturer Hokey Pokey Holdings.

In response to the revelations the PM said he had a “perfect phone call” with Jacinda Ardern and stood by his accusations. “That was a crooked deal, 100%. Nathan had no knowledge of Hokey Pokey, didn’t know the first thing about it, all of a sudden he’s getting $50,000 a month plus free unlimited refills.”

“If they were honest about it, they would start a major investigation into the Albaneses,” Morrison said. “Likewise, China should start an investigation into the Albaneses. Because what happened in China is just about as bad as what happened with New Zealand.”

Much like with everything else plagiarised from Donald Trump, no-one seemed to know what the fuck the Prime Minister was on about.