By Situation Theatre 4/10/2019

He dismissed claims this “moot” goes by the name of “the ocean” as gossip from the Canberra bubble.

By now you may have heard Scott “Polly want a cracker” Morrison parrot his favourite impeach-flavoured owner in a foreign policy speech railing against the “negative globalism” of the UN.

What has been less reported the parts of the speech where he also echoed Trump’s calls for a “moot stuffed with alligators and snakes” to repel Mexican migrants by calling for something similar around Australia.

“Only a water-filled trench, stocked with sharks and stingrays, can properly fortify the border”, he said.

Morrison has since backed away from the policy after discovering that the ocean already exists and that torturing refugees indefinitely in island concentration camps is more satisfyingly sadistic than anything Trump could imagine anyway.

Clarifying the backdown this morning he did say “We still need to nuke the drought though”.