By Situation Theatre 11/11/2019

Scott Morrison has lamented the fact that no one told him climate change was a thing.

God’s spokesperson and Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, has slammed the nation’s fire chiefs and climate scientists for not repeatedly warning him about increased fire risks.

“If we’d had, say, back in April, more than 20 former fire and emergency chiefs from multiple states and territories say Australia is unprepared for worsening natural disasters from climate change and governments are putting lives at risk, then we could have acted.”

“If we’d had the second longest serving fire and rescue commissioner in New South Wales, Greg Mullins, tell us “The first thing is we need whoever is in government nationally to take climate change seriously, rather than making jokes about it in parliament with lumps of coal,” or “It’s just frustrating to hear the lip service being given to ‘Oh yes, we now believe in climate change and need to do something’ when every effort to do something about it is rubbished, ” then we could have taken preventative action.

“Or if we’d had former chief executive of Victoria’s Country Fire Authority, Neil Bibby, say “We know the problem, and the only way to get politicians to do something about these things is put their jobs on the line,”, then maybe we could have got off the phone to the coal industry for a minute and actually done something.”

“I mean we wouldn’t have of course, but the point is we could have.”