By Situation Theatre 21/9/2019

Australians are used to their political leaders selling out the national interest, but never before was it because of “Sunchoke Ravioli with Reggiano Cream and Shaved Summer Vegetables”.

Man of questionable strength Scott Morrison has today agreed to Donald Trump’s request asking if he wouldn’t mind ceding Australia to the US government.

While it seems like more the behaviour of soapstone, officially recognised as the weakest material on earth, the Australian Prime Minister revealed that in exchange he did manage to secure an entrée of “pasta drizzled with a lemony Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese emulsion and topped with shavings of sun gold carrots, baby kale, and sunchoke chips".

Now that Australia is officially a U.S. territory, policy settings will remain exactly as they are.