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By Situation Theatre 30/3/2020
The PM’s habitual flirtations with the Murdoch Press and fossil fuel industry will now be forced online.
The coronavirus crisis is forcing all Australians to make sacrifices and none more so than the Prime Minister, who will have to resign himself to emoticons to express his affection for the media and coal barons he holds so dear, after announcing a ban on public gatherings of more than two people.
The fact that Australia’s three rulers are intimate partners has allowed the game to be played through the 1.5m social distancing rule, and would technically allow the game to continue despite the new rule. However, Mr Morrison’s decision to to suspend the game for five months, along with Parliament, comes as a recognition that this love affair, along with this democracy, should be kept private.
It’s a disappointing disruption to Mr Morrison’s routine, who has started every morning since he accidentally planned his way into the Prime Ministership trying to catch and kiss either Gina Rinehart or Rupert Murdoch, before coyly trotting away until he is caught and kissed in return.
Reports from the PM’s inner circle have it that of all Australia’s Prime Ministers who have regularly played the game, Mr Morrison is by far the easiest to capture.
