By Situation Theatre 13/07/2015
Adapted 17/9/2019.
Rain, the word 'environment' and all political opponents are next.
As the great Australian poet Dorothea Mackellar once wrote, “I love a really dark, still, lifeless country, a land of coal mines and CSG fields.” Inspired by Mackellar’s work, long-time slam poet Scott Morrison has decreed that the “utterly offensive” wind and “visually awful” sun will no longer bother Australians.
Challenged by a rogue fan of the sun at a “Sausages For Coal” fundraiser over the weekend, the Prime Minister tersely responded “Well it is the next logical step isn’t it? We’ve spent ten years doing everything possible to destroy renewables, but the natural elements and common sense just wouldn’t go away, you know? Now without the sun and wind interfering, coal might actually be competitive."
The government will direct all energy investment into “emerging technologies” like cute new hats for miners as well as guns and submarines made from coal.