By Situation Theatre 3/9/2019

“Start the boats”.

Scott Morrison has called on the Sri Lankan PM, Ranil Wickremesinghe, to Dunkirk the shit out of the Australian mainland by sending 850 asylum seeker boats to rescue his racist political project.

As the PM takes fire from the entire nation over his cruel and inhuman treatment of a beloved Tamil family, he’s desperately hoping an incoming fleet of boats might give him a way out.

Several journalists from The Australian were on hand in Morrison’s office so he could dictate tomorrow’s front page following his pleading phone call with Wickremesinghe.

Images from The Onion, SBS, The New Daily, and 21:9 Gaming

Asked whether he was concerned about possible deaths at sea from the 850 incoming vessels, he said that was such a bubble question.