Morning editorial meeting at The Australian.
By Situation Theatre 28/07/2015
A new report by Australia’s top scientists has warned of the severe health risks of infection with ‘News Corp Disease’, commonly known as ‘Ruperts’. Much like thalidomide, News Corp was once thought to have value but its toxic effects are now abundantly clear.
Lead researcher Dr Elaine Anne Susie explains the course of the disease: ‘It starts by attacking the amygdala, known as the threat-detection part of the brain. It swiftly generates unwarranted fears of positive phenomena like climate action, the ABC, universities, The Greens and artists. It also blocks the action of the right supramarginal gyrus, destroying empathy for other humans, such as Muslims, Indigenous peoples, and asylum seekers. Tragically, the disease is transmitted genetically and there is a 77% risk of inheritance'.
The report details the dangers of this serious illness which breaks down the brain’s faculty for critical thinking. One of the most harmful consequences of Ruperts is conviction inversely proportional to evidence for a belief. The disease also rewires neural circuitry, explaining the baseless connections made in public discourse between unrelated concepts like immigration and terrorism, or Alan Jones and reason.
Long term sufferers Janet Albrechtsen, Andrew Bolt and Piers Akerman are highly infectious and doctors say the public should avoid contact with these individuals at all costs.