By Situation Theatre 30/5/2019

Channelling Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib, special counsel Robert Mueller’s subtext has issued a clarion call to the cowardly centrist leadership of the Democratic Party to begin impeachment proceedings against mafia boss Donald Trump. Nancy Pelosi has again misread the subtext as saying “embrace the spirit of bipartisanship”.

There have been extraordinary developments out of the United States overnight with Robert Mueller verbally stating “If we had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said that” and non-verbally stating “for Christ’s sake Nancy, impeach the motherfucker already”.

He went on to officially say “the constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting President of wrongdoing” and to unofficially say “fucking hell Chuck, I gave you 448 pages detailing 10 times the President tried to obstruct justice. I can spoon feed you the evidence but you’re gonna have to rely on your own damaged vertebrae.”

Once again, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is one of the few Democrats with a fully intact spinal column, a sense of humour, and a refreshing familiarity with quality board games.

Sadly the Democratic leadership is still stuck playing cards against humanity.