Screenshot from The Guardian
By Situation Theatre 14/12/2019
Just as Scott Morrison’s victory for the quiet Australians prevented said Australians from losing their homes and dying in an unprecedented bushfire crisis, Boris’s pledge to “get Brexit done” will ensure Britons face a smooth exit from the European Union, an equalising of the rich and poor, and a bright future under six feet of water.
Now that unifying figure Boris Johnson has been elected by the British people to “heal the divisions” caused by Boris Johnson, millions of Brits can now enjoy their Christmases safe in the knowledge that five more years of crippling Tory austerity should solve the problems of the past nine years of crippling Tory austerity.
Communities in the East and West Midlands who were devastated by serious river and surface flooding in November, and those throughout the UK who face a “robust increase” in climate emergency fuelled flooding in coming years, are relieved to know the new PM will be tackling the major threat to their way of life: European immigrants.
Mr Johnson has promised to address the soaring gap between rich and poor and the oncoming threat of ecological collapse by “getting Brexit done”, whatever the fuck that means, and the British public have deemed that answer to be satisfactory.
