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Situation Theatre

July 5, 2019

Archaeologist Discovers Skeleton Of Man Who Died Waiting For Labor To Become Progressive

by Sarah Johnson


Image from Shutterstock

Image from Shutterstock

Image from Shutterstock

Image from Shutterstock

By Situation Theatre 5/7/2019. Republished 8/5/2020

It’s the most significant finding since Homo luzonensis fossils were uncovered in the Philippines.

The scientific community has been rocked this morning by the news that some Homo sapiens will wait so long for the Labor Party to become progressive, rather than invest their energy in authentically left-wing parties or building a movement, that their bodies will decompose in the process.

The skeleton was discovered buried beneath the toilet of a local Canberra bistro and showed signs of stress-related decay.

Archaeologists have speculated that the man died due to a lethal combination of futility, a sense of betrayal, and a broken heart.

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TAGS: Australian Politics


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