By Situation Theatre 12/2/2020

Billionaire totem Pete Buttigieg has shocked the world with a supernaturally stunning second place in the New Hampshire primary, while Amy Klobuchar is the big story of the night with a sublime 3rd place.

Saintly prince Pete Buttigieg has again pulled off a miracle consolation prize in New Hampshire after blitzing the field in Iowa by just declaring victory before any results were declared. He’s proven once again why having zero support amongst black voters is a super smart way to beat Donald Trump.

Not to be outdone, apart from literally being outdone by two other candidates, sweet, sweet Amy Klobuchar pulled off a magnificent moral victory by losing tonight. It simply is marvellous how losing is now the new winning.

That is all.

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