By Situation Theatre 30/10/2019

The conservative pin-up boy says his politics are more in line with the aspiration of Albanese than the zealously Pentecostal proto-fascism of the Morrison Government.

In a big coup for Labor’s new leader and a body blow for the Prime Minister, Liberal Party heartthrob John Howard has defected from his former party, citing Labor’s vision for growth, coal, and business as his top three reasons.

Mr Howard was so impressed by Albo’s first vision statement in Perth on climate yesterday that he immediately cancelled his Liberal membership and joined his local Labor branch.

Asked why, the Tory dreamboat cited a few choice phrases from the speech, along with the accompanying media coverage.

Albanese declared the Labor Party is “proudly and resolutely pro-growth” while the ABC reported “gone are references to "the top end of town", in their place is an appreciation that "we must first and foremost be in the business of creating wealth" and ensuring that 2.2 million small businesses "thrive and flourish" for national prosperity”.

The Business News headline was “Labor Backs Mining Industry”, The Australian reported “Market Will Decide If Thermal Coal Mines Are Built In Australia: Albanese”, and The Courier Mail’s headline read “Coal And Manufacturing Jobs Central To Albo’s New Plan”.

Mr Howard said “His climate speech was pro-coal, pro-business, and he even seemed to court News Corp. What’s not to love?”