By Situation Theatre 9/11/2019

It’s time for Labor to change… back to how they used to lose, by aping the enemy.

Anthony Albanese has challenged his colleagues to move on from post-election self-absorption and return to the good old days of losing elections with an unambiguously awful neoliberal agenda and language, instead of losing elections with at least a sprinkling of class rhetoric.

In an address to the National Press Club to respond to Labor’s official campaign review, Albo fired up progressives around the nation by distancing his party from tax policies to fund social programs then launching into some inspirational attacks on Getup.

Then in a speech to camera on Twitter afterwards which made 2001’s Hal look like a motivational speaker, Albanese declared that Labor would now be the “party of growth” and the “party of aspiration”.

Good on you Albo. Why bother noticing the mountain of evidence all around the world that only left-wing populism can beat right-wing populism when you can flog the dead centrist horse and do what your party does best: serially lose to your sworn enemy by doing a dodgy impression.