Screenshot from Twitter
By Situation Theatre 31/3/2020
“If Australians wanted to elect economic panic merchants who would stimulate the economy, blow the surplus, double Newstart, and spend $130bn on a wage subsidy, then they just had to vote Liberal and wait a few months.”
Scott “Che” Morrison is famous for his playful attitudes to the concept of time. Back in May 2019, he rambunctiously said “we brought the Budget back into surplus next year”. What a prankster, punking the notion of accurate English grammar as is his want.
Fast forward to next year, and Morrison is now also monkeying around with the concepts of opposites and certainty. What fun he’s having, saying he definitely won’t do something and then doing that very thing just days later.
There’ll definitely be no stimulus before there are three stimulus packages in three weeks, there’ll absolutely be no budget deficit until it’s incalculably large, there’ll surely be no Newstart increase until it’s doubled, and there’ll absolutely be no wage subsidy until it’s worth $130bn.
Just this morning the PM has ruled out transforming Australia into an eco-socialist utopia, so expect the revolution to kick off in 48-72 hours.
