By Situation Theatre 3/11/2019

Cops really are tops.

If you are like most fair-minded people, you’re probably sick to death of citizen brutality towards police officers.

Just because they shoot a few people with mental health issues, leave a few desperately pleading Aboriginal women to die in their police cells, and assault climate protesters with horses, batons and pepper spray, doesn’t mean cops are not all good clean knockabout blokes.

If you still doubt the integrity of even a single police officer, here’s five images and videos to prove you wrong.

1. A-OK

Some people have linked this notorious white supremacist gesture to all the other white supremacist material on this officer’s social media profile. These people are the kind of morons who still think climate change is not a Chinese hoax. It’s pretty obvious this caring fellow was just checking on the well-being of his sworn enemy. Shortly thereafter he was heard supportively yelling “go well activists”, “did you ever know that you’re my heroes?” and “keep doing that protesting thing you are so good at!”

2. EAD Hippy

The idea that the acronym here stands for “Eat a Dick Hippy” is absurd and quite frankly offensive. It clearly means “Enjoy A Dip” Hippy and was a kind message to accompany his offer of a choice of tzatziki or baba ghanoush to go with the falafel balls, which he also made in solidarity with the protesters.

3.Personal Space

Police getting out the battons to try and get #climate criminals into #IMARC #mining conference @akaWACA @blockadeIMARC19 pic.twitter.com/LAcQhR5WLT
— Sam Cossar (@samcossar) October 28, 2019

There are claims this video shows a policeman using his baton to assault an unarmed woman with her hands up. Talk about fake news. It’s obvious to anyone who plays this footage in reverse that the officer is in fact backing away from the woman to give her some personal space.

4.Silly String

Some so-called journalists reported that police unnecessarily pepper sprayed the crowds who were expressing some concern that capitalism is murdering all life on Earth. Get your facts straight guys. We all know it was Halloween this week and the officer was just showing parents how to use silly string safely while they are out trick or treating with their kids who will probably grow up to die in the climate apocalypse.

5.Chinese Massage

Man restrained by many @victoriapolice and was unable to move. Officer punches him repeatedly in the kidneys. #blockadeimarc #imarc pic.twitter.com/0MzV3Jz0oI
— Glenn Todd ☀ (@glentodd) October 30, 2019

While to the naked eye this footage clearly shows police repeatedly punching a protester on in the kidneys. What this rash conclusion misses is that this is actually an ancient form of Chinese massage which the officers are applying for free to help re-energise the weary activists.