Polls Predict Tory Majority, Thereby Guaranteeing Labour Victory

By Situation Theatre 12/12/2019

Jeremy Corbyn is now a dead certainty to win the UK election because the polls have unanimously predicted he will lose.

UK Labour have already declared victory over Boris Johnson’s hapless Tories as news came through of a series of pre-election polls all confirming a likely Tory win.

Labor strategists feel confident in their pre-emptive declaration given that as for Brexit, Trump, and the 2019 Australian election, the pollsters predictions are an iron-clad guarantee of their opposite.

The Labor win comes as a shock to conservatives who have been taught since conception that despite being evil incarnate, they are born to rule.

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