By Situation Theatre 12/10/2019

Why vote for an ecocidal party of proto-fascists when you can vote for a pale imitation?

Fresh from nearly five months of soul-searching and deep self-reflection, senior Labor strategists have discovered that the key to electoral success in 2022 is spineless fealty to the Government’s authoritarian agenda.

Based on a comprehensive review, Labor has worked out that what the electorate really wants is for them to be the Moro bar to the Coalition’s Mars bar of national sabotage.

The review has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Labor lost not because of their endless dithering on key moral issues like Adani and Newstart, not because of their failure to inspire the electorate with a compelling story about progressive change, not because of a lacklustre frontman pushing a complex and incoherent agenda, but because they didn’t look like a cheap enough RSL cover band version of the Government.