Because governing the nation by nurturing the far right and torturing refugees in concentration camps just doesn’t compare to a 22-year-old’s Facebook posts.

Conveniently for the ALP dirt unit, much of Scott Morrison’s filth is out in the open.

The army, air force and navy across the Tasman have been war gaming a Labor loss.

All teens ever do is play Fortnite, post Instagram selfies, and kickstart the revolution.

Just as we reflect on MLK as a real pain in the bum for those trying to get to work in the 1960s, the future will similarly condemn climate justice activists sacrificing their liberty for the sake of the planet.

All you have to do to trigger a massive life-or-death shift in the global economic system is ask nicely.

Barnaby Joyce’s reputation as an international statesman has also taken a blow after getting stuck in an infinite yelling loop during a Radio National interview.

How can you expect him to keep track of all the scandals when he’s got dance routines to choreograph?

The ANU academic had also placed the probability it would involve Barnaby Joyce at 100%.

The Home Affairs Minister will break the Guinness World Record for longest game of hide and don’t seek, beating the previous record set by Scott Morrison at the NSW election.

The news cycle has gone into meltdown over the imminent threat to the sacred site.

What if we imagined Earth was as important as a church?

PM praises ABC panel show for exceeding even Liberal KPIs for inclusivity of white supremacist climate deniers.

Like an even more racist Mel Gibson, Scott Morrison will tell you What Aboriginal People Want.

One of the world’s greatest architectural treasures may not survive. One of the world’s greatest political abominations may not die.

The predicted incidence of animal cruelty in the upcoming term of NSW Parliament has already been significantly reduced. There’s still work to be done getting rid of Mark Latham.

Nearly half of Australians are keen for more paedophile protection, hate speech, white supremacy, banking corruption, wage stagnation, domestic violence, suicidal children, expense scandals, disability abuse, refugee torture, and climate destruction.

Rich people get rich because they work hard.

Poor people are poor because they are lazy.

On Thursday night Scott Morrison called a Bingo game. On Friday he came out with some random numbers about Labor’s tax take. This was not a coincidence.