The Labor Party has become the Liberal Party and the Liberal Party has lost its tiny hive mind.
Read MoreWar Criminals Pay Tribute to Quiet Dignity Of Fellow War Criminal
PM Unveils New National Curriculum Featuring Offshore Drilling, Bible Studies, Cronyism, And Numeracy
Australia Facing Severe Popcorn Shortage As Millions Settle In For Spectacular Sinking Of The Liberal Party
PM Demands All School Students Wear Australian Flag Uniforms. Students Wear Gay Pride Uniforms Instead.
By Situation Theatre 3/12/2018
Scott “Principal Skinner” Morrison has not only called for more learning and less activism in schools, but also more uniforms made out of Australian flags.
The PM is worried that unless the next generation are completely blinded to reality by the Liberal Party’s floundering neo-conservative, white nationalist, truth-denying, apocalypse-inducing ideology, not only will they vote them into oblivion for the next 100 years, but they will also hunt them down with prosecutions for climate criminality.
As a result he’s demanded all Australian schoolchildren be dressed in Australian flag skirts, Australian flag jumpers, blazers and ties, and yes, even Australian flag caps. Like most things, the issue of mud, carob stains and even kiddie skid marks desecrating his beloved Australian flag is not something Scott Morrison has thought much about.
In response, the nation’s children have again chosen activism and joy over conformity and fear and worn the rainbow colours of gay pride loud and proud.
Malcolm’s Friends and Family Worried The “Miserable Ghosts Anonymous” Meetings Aren’t Helping
‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to stay the fuck out of major party politics.’
Nation Resumes Laughing As Phelps Extends Lead Over Sharma
Saudis Uncover New Evidence That JFK Died In A Fistfight With Lee Harvey Oswald
Whereabouts Of PM And Deputy PM Unknown As Two Pissed Dude-Bros Give Liberal Concession Speech
Two frat boys from Sigma Alpha Epsilon took time out from the beer bongs and cocaine of the local kegger to front the Liberal cult and lead them in a pretty wild collective hallucination.
Read MoreGovernment Waiting Until Christmas Eve To Sneak Out Report Showing They’re A Bunch Of Nation-Plundering Proto-Fascists
“There’s no merit. There’s no substance. There’s just corruption, cronyism and a contemptible sense of entitlement all the way down.”
Read MoreNewspoll Shows 47% of Australians Quite Like The Prospect Of Climate Apocalypse
At least they’ll still be able to negatively gear their fourth fire ravaged investment property if the Liberals are governing the barren wasteland.
Read MoreGod Distances Himself From Scott Morrison
I love all of creation, but for a white-supremacist child-torturing climate criminal, I’ll make an exception.
Read MoreSenate Vote Confirms Suspicions Government Policy Has Long Been Dictated By Teenage Boys On 4chan
The “It’s OK to be white” campaign, organised by neo-nazis on the imageboard 4chan and designed to create a “massive media shitstorm”, has been excreted into the Australian Parliament by Pauline Hanson and created a “massive media shitstorm”.
Read MoreMalcolm Turnbull Lashes Out At Whoever Is To Blame For Infuriating Skype Chats With His Son
Howard Suffers Minor Stroke After Discovering Marxism Is Part Of Western Civilisation
As a result, the former PM has cancelled plans for a Ramsay Centre deal with Sydney University, realising the Paris commune, suffragettes, Spanish anarchists, US civil rights movement, and critical theory are also important parts of the Western inheritance.
Read MorePM Rejects Kantian, Virtue And Consequentialist Ethics In Favour Of Wentworth By-election School Of Thought
The Federal Government will protect gay children from religious discrimination but gay teachers, well they can burn in hell.
Read MoreAlex Turnbull Horrified To Learn The PM Who Sabotaged Climate Action For The Last 3 Years Is His Father
He is now in East Sydney Private Hospital suffering one of the worst recorded cases of cognitive dissonance.
Read MoreShorten Backs Morrison's Move To Make Himself Dictator
PM Attacks Sydney's Biggest Billboard Operators For Misusing It As A Cultural Venue Since 1973.
Morrison laments 45 years of lost revenue as time-wasting symphonies, theatre and opera have substituted for gambling, smoking, and alcohol advertising.
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