Sounds about right.

Savages.

Plibersek bravely counters jingoistic Australian nationalism with cringeworthy American nationalism.

Liberal Ministers have been cosplaying fascists for a while, now it’s time to enlist the masses.

Government douses flames of fury about climate crimes with petrol bomb of endemic corruption.

Peasant genocide is well within the guidelines.

The 722,000 Australians on Newstart understand that government is a matter of priorities, and these ponies aren’t going to ride themselves.

The RFS has taken concrete climate action by setting fire to every Coalition MP.

“We can’t have journalists doing journalism. What’s next, a government actually governing?”

Reporters denounce Paul Kennedy, complaining that all this actual journalism is making them look bad.

Try as he might to hold him together with glue and bits of sticky tape, the puppet master is already scouting for replacements.

They all bloody loved cricket.

“I’ve really committed to this one.”

Talk about being squished between a rock and a hard place.

The Minister for Employment has been left exposed but on the bright side we can now properly map out the public’s counter-terrorism operations.

Australians are seeking protection from Scott Morrison en masse.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has already leaked his victory speech to the press. It’s titled “How good’s Scott?”

The Government’s soft on climate change approach has been held responsible for this unprecedented threat to national security.

The compassion consultant tried to explain that all human beings are worthy of respect and dignity but when that wasn’t getting through she reminded the PM that the Mallacoota evacuees were mostly white.

Exhausted evacuees didn’t mind the planned 20-hour journey from Mallacoota to Hastings aboard the MV Sycamore. They just couldn’t stand spending another minute sharing a continent with Scott Morrison.