Australians are used to their political leaders selling out the national interest, but never before was it because of “Sunchoke Ravioli with Reggiano Cream and Shaved Summer Vegetables”.

In a reform tipped to save the world from climate catastrophe, all current politicians will be turfed out and replaced by actual children.

The way these kids slavishly listen to reason, blindly accept scientific fact, and, much like sheep, rebel against their teachers, principals, parents, state, and federal governments in service to humanity is basically Nazism.

If your child is burning books it may be a sign of psychological problems and/or nascent fascism.

How embarrassing.

What a terrible blunder.

Morrison has reassured emergency service workers worried about the upcoming climate-crisis-fuelled “summer from hell” that he takes humiliating vulnerable people very seriously.

Scott Morrison is disgusted by the way Labor is smearing the Chinese-Australian community. He’s quite pleased with the way Peter Dutton is smearing all migrants.

“People call us racist but have you seen the shit he’s been saying?”

They haven’t been this inconsolable since Trump fired Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci.

The increasingly oppressive climate of corporate capture does lead to more frequent and intense rhetorical disasters.

Apparently the 40-year corporate war on every conceivable aspect of a decent society has nothing to do with it.

How Morrison got sacked from Tourism Australia is unfathomable.

Whether he’s asked to “please leave my town”, heckled for not negotiating properly in Brussels, or rambling so much that even police officers stationed to lend him gravitas are falling from distress, the UK Prime Minister has spent the week underlining the age-old truth that rich white men truly are Übermenschen.

In November 1956, Fidel Castro sailed with 81 rebel fighters from Mexico to Cuba to overthrow the despotic regime of Fulgencio Batista. In November 2019, Greta Thunberg will join 81 climate rebels and sail from New York to Sydney to overthrow another tyrannical government of an island nation

Fossil fuel execs receiving $29 billion a year in government handouts breathe a sigh of relief as Government pledges to only target poor people.

As Christ said, “crush the infidel”.